|
In a different
era Odysseus had to sail within earshot of the Sirens. No sailor could resist their
seductive call. The penalty for giving in to this irresistible temptation was death
by drowning - the fate experienced by all who had come before. Appreciating the
danger, Odysseus filled his men's ears with wax so they would not be able to hear the
Sirens. Odysseus wanted to hear what the Sirens
sounded like. However, he knew that if he heard the Sirens he would be unable to resist,
and so he
pre-committed his future behavior by having himself tied with rope to the mast of the
ship.
The plan was successful! When Odysseus and his men sailed past the island
the Sirens called, but the men could not hear so they
kept rowing. Odysseus heard
the Sirens, but he could not give in to the
temptation, because he was bound to the mast.
The Lessons of Odysseus and the Sirens:
1. Odysseus made his plans in advance. If he had waited until he heard the Sirens to
try to figure out what to do, it would have been too late.
2. The men did not give in to
temptation because they did not experience it. Likewise, you
can engineer your environment to minimize your exposure to temptation - at
least until the healthy habits have become well established
- i.e., avoid high risk situations.
3. Because no sailor had previously survived, some might take a defeatist attitude and
passively accept the inevitable defeat. But Odysseus was a hero, and approached the
challenge as a problem to be solved. He devised a well conceived plan, and executed
it as intended.
4. Finally, and most importantly, Odysseus experience the temptation, but did not
give in to it. How
did he accomplish what had previously been impossible? Odysseus
understood that the sirens had the power to make him act contrary to his
current wishes. So while
he was still in his right mind he predetermined his future behavior by
having himself bound to the mast of the ship.
It would be the rope, not the
siren's call that determined Odysseus's behavior when they sailed past the
Island of Circe. As Odysseus was bound by strong rope, so you
can be bound by your word. Example: "I am not experiencing temptation
now, but I know that I will, and I give my word that no matter what happens I will
remain clean."
Will Power
Will Power = one's ability to adhere to a commitment despite local stressors and
temptations. The strength of the rope that bound Odysseus was due to the mechanical
properties of the rope. The strength of the force that binds you to your word is
determined by your belief in your word.
Example, if someone repeatedly makes appointments with you and fails to keep them,
your belief in their commitment may
diminish. Likewise, if you make
commitments to yourself and fail to honor them, you will
take your commitment less seriously. What does the future hold for you if you cannot depend on yourself
to honor your commitment?
Making a commitment is like making a bet. If you adhere to it you win the bet,
and your will power increases. But, if you fail to honor your word, you lose the
bet. The loss is greater than the simple price of a lapse - as terrible as that may
be. More destructive is the loss of belief that you will honor future pledges.
If you lose the ability to influence future behavior by the commitment you make now, there
is little an outside force can do to give it back to you. So, don't make any
commitment unless you are serious enough to put at risk your ability to adhere to future
commitments. If you make a commitment, you must honor it. If you fail, you
weaken your ability to adhere to future commitments.1
The PIG says:
1. There is a difference between a goal and a commitment. A goal just gives direction.
If you lapse, you can benefit from the feedback that results [see
The
OPEN Path]. A commitment is "etched in stone." By making a
commitment you are foreswearing all excuses or possible reasons for failure; you stake
your reputation on honoring it.
2. Never commit to outcomes, only to behaviors. You can't guarantee outcomes, only your
own behavior.
3. As each loss weakens you, each win strengthens you. So avoid bets you cannot
win in your lifetime. "I'll never lapse again" is such a bet. You
don't get to win it until you are on your death bed. Better to go for one day at a
time, or even better, one hour at a time. Many little wins are the basis of
developing will power. Make the commitments short and manageable, but once made,
permit no exceptions to occur!
4. This is a good path, but it has a limitation: it is
highly sensitive to failure - the consequences of which may be irreversible.
Any failure to adhere to a commitment may cause permanent loss of access to
this path - the point of Ainslie's bet is to understand that this is so.
If you do bet your word on a vow and lose, the next vow [even if this time
you really mean it] is not likely to succeed. Under such
circumstances, you must take the OPEN Path [see
The
OPEN Path].
Footnotes:
1. George Ainslie. Psycholol Bull. 1975, 463-489
|
|
Perhaps
the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
- Thomas Huxley
To change your life:
* Start immediately
* Do it flamboyantly
* No exceptions
- William James
To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness.
- Confucius
The only difference between a caprice and a life long passion is that the caprice
lasts a little longer
- Oscar Wilde
The true curse of the liar is not so much that
other's can't believe him, its that he can't believe others.
- G. B. Shaw |
